Confirmation is Good

Okay I know the last few posts have been sad (not my intention) but when I get in moods to write they are usually because I need to express a bitter part of me that not a lot of my friends and family get to see. I'm almost always very happy and this blog is a way for me to share my sadness or activism without losing my focus or crying hahaha. But I'll start off on a happy note because it's not like my life is miserable. I lead a very happy life. i love my family and they love me and my extended family is awesome! I had a chat with my grandma the other night which made me soooo very happy! I'm so glad she called I was thinking about her the other night cause it smelled like her garden when the sprinklers just turn off. So that was unexpected and wonderful. I'll have to just call people myself cause I can't sit here and wait for that to happen again (=. Also happy news I was getting back to my directors class and everyone in my area is gathered around. I come over and ask whats happening and this guy named Dave says he has a question for me. Oh really? I ask and he says that he and his friend heard about this film festival. Its a short film of 15 minutes max and can be any genre of film include a tv pilot. The grand prize is 500,000 dollars, being entered in the venice italy film festival and a chance to work with Ridley Scott and I was wondering if you wanted to join us? I kind of gaped at him and said, this is a question? hahaha so I'm in and we already have a story line set in place. now to just get the film in action. We were also thinking about getting it entered into a few film contests so I'm really excited about that. God has really been encouraging me in this area. i mean I asked him to but I didn't expect it to take off like it has. i can't believe half of this is going on haha. I know I need to start making contacts and getting myself out there so I've decided to join the NBS which is the national broadcast society. I actually helps me network with people. I want to be a part of this industry so I can change and influence people like never before. Someone once asked me what type of films I wanted to do and I told them I wanted to make obscure films that were slightly offensive to the general public. I'm sure they didn't quite know what I was talking about but I meant that I didn't want to seduce my audience with a fantasy of lies about what life could be, I wanted to tell them the hard truth about life and make them uncomfortable in their seats. Being comfortable means you aren't going to change or aren't willing to. I want to inspire people so I have to point out what is wrong with the world now and show them the lies that they've been taught. I want to unveil the reasons why there is so much misery and not blame it on someone else. So yes I want to make films that are offensive hahaha. But you know, in a good way (= haha Obviously I'm using the wrong words to describe what I'm going to do with my films but I do want to inspire people to take more care of their lives and the lives around them. I'm so happy with God has done in my life! I'm sooo happy that he has made this obvious to me, not a lot of people get that and I know it's going to be hard but at least I'm not the person who i need to count on. In other unrelated news I just wanted to thank all the people out there whom I'm able to share my innermost fears and problems. Which is only two (= It's hard for me to talk about such things but I'm working towards not being afraid of that anymore and I'm working towards not having that be a problem anymore or at least suppressing it until it can be of better use. All I know is that God told me at convo that he would never leave me nor forsake me.